Narcissism and The Blog
What up, friends.
I got a phone call from my mom last night. “You should check out Tim’s blog!”
“Okay, cool! What’s it about?”
“Tim!”
“Great!”
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No. Not great. Get tf over yourself, Tim, no one cares.
The internet has opened up the world’s greatest opportunity for narcissism. We are invited to share ourselves, and this is great because we get to craft our images and convince people to like us and delight in the awesomeness of our own portrayals. Think of Facebook. How much time do you spend on your own profile, or looking at pictures of yourself? Yikes. If that doesn’t say something about the basic nature of humanity, I don’t know what does.
Even more intensely narcissistic is the blog. A blog is a place where we write things we think are important or cool enough for people to pay attention to. But we only ever write about ourselves. What do we think? What did we do today? Do we have anything intelligent to say about the ways of the world?
Some blogs are entertaining and that’s awesome. Other blogs are informative and that’s even cooler. To those bloggers I say: huzzah! I applaud your efforts and your contributions to society. I mean that with the greatest sincerity. If your aim is to help people or advance the well-being of the planet in any way, I think you are the bomb, and would you please be my friend?
Which brings me to the paleo sphere. I’m a member of a group of paleo bloggers which does a bit of networking and organizing and stuff. It’s really awesome. But I was struck by a recent conversation we had. The topic was: “how do I increase traffic to my blog?”
How do you increase traffic to your blog? Fuck if I know, and fuck if I care. Sure, I want nothing more than to reach as many people as possible with the paleo message and, even more important to me, support for disordered eating, but not for my own sake. I don’t need to be popular. I don’t need your readership. If you’re a member of the ‘paleo community’ and you don’t need or enjoy my posts, go do something else with your life. I don’t care about an audience, I care about change. I care about love and positivity and good science and moving forward towards a better future. That said, I commend and I love the paleo community immensely. I love what’s recently happened, with the exploding numbers. I love the debates. I love the exchange of information and the help and the conversations. This couldn’t have been possible without the internet. So my point is this:
Let’s not lose sight of our own personal goals. Let us remember always why we spend so much time doing what we do. I’m not out for vanity, for your love, for validation or popularity or what have you. I want to help people. And I know this is the case for just about every paleo blogger out there. Let’s just keep that in mind, and always help each other, and keep our eyes on spreading the word as best we can, not inter-community competition or any crazy shit like that. I’m perfectly happy constraining my narcissism to Facebook, and I would hope that all the other bloggers out there realize and do the same.
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As a final note, this means that I only ever post now when I think I have something helpful and relevant to say. And I don’t read as much on the internet as I used to. And I no longer go check out other people’s blogs and post on them just because I”m supposed to. Instead, I do my best to maximize my time and help and share to the best of my ability, then move on and work on something else. I hear a lot of internet bemoaning in the paleo community. “It’s such a shame we spend so much time online!” Well, fuck. If you don’t want to, don’t. And if you do, rock on. Do it. Fuck! Do what makes you happy.
That said, I would like to leave you with these words, taped to the ceiling above my bed, from Chuck Palanhuik:
“If you are reading this, then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? I Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think everything you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity, you will become a statistic. You have been warned …
These were (more or less) the doubts I had before publishing my before-after-pics blog post.
In the end I did post it. But not from a narcistic motivation. It’s all about progression and health. Not about the looks.
Interestingly enough, it did give me the most visitors ever.
I liked this post, it made me question why I started a primal blog. I guess our narcissism is what makes each blog different. We would all be quoting the same facts and shit if it wasn’t for our different personalities. I agree, lets leave the petty bullshit out. Let’s make our primal blogging be about helping and sharing.
Loved this post. Have just recently discovered your blog and am really enjoying it. Love your “voice.”
Was thinking the other day about othorexia and was hoping you’d write something on it because I think it dovetails nicely with disordered eating. I read so much stuff with sanctimonious undertones in the paleo blogosphere and and I think it’s so counter intuitive to encouraging change. I am still about 40lbs overweight and I recently attended an all-day Robb Wolf seminar in Toronto. I could scrape the sanctimony off the walls in that room. Maybe that’s my own paranoia. Who knows? Who cares? I really don’t give a fu**. I am doing it. People can’t/won’t change if they feel judged or start making small changes and are dismissed as being “not being paleo enough” or “doing it wrong.”
Anyway, Chris Kresser, when he interviewed Dr. Kurt Harris, (the first time I think,) alluded to maybe writing on orthorexia soon, as did Harris. It also ties in with Kresser’s post about the 80-20 rule and balance. As someone that has struggled with disordered eating all my life, to now find paleo (1 year + and down 40lbs)is amazing but sometimes I still feel obsessed only in a more socially acceptable way. I guess I am a work in progress.